Choosing Love Over Fear

Choosing Love Over Fear


Cultivating a loving relationship with your Self.

Self-Love combines both feeling and action. Self-Love is the most self-full act you can give yourself. It is not selfish to care for yourself and to love yourself completely. How can you give others love if you have nothing to give yourself? Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup! To love oneself unconditionally is to love every single part of who you are without any conditions. For the majority of people, this is a hard act to do and it requires daily effort and action. Self-Love is putting yourself first, prioritizing your needs and desires over anyone else. Self-Love is a relationship between you and yourself! How do you wish to be treated? Are you meeting your needs and desires? How are you feeling? Can you be with yourself, listening to all the emotions and feelings within and filling yourself up by giving yourself exactly what you need in any given moment? Self-Love requires you to let go of judgements, comparisons and self-sabotaging beliefs you may hold, in your mind about yourself. Every time you tell yourself you are different, wrong or not good enough, you are affirming to yourself that you don’t deserve love, happiness and abundance. To truly care for yourself, you need to be able to love every part of who you are- including the thoughts that create your reality. Every time you criticise your body or make promises of feeling better or happy when you do this or that, you are affirming to yourself that you are unworthy of receiving acceptance for who you are, right now. Any negative thought you hold about yourself keeps you in a vicious negative cycle of unworthiness. Change is not possible if you cannot accept who you are now. When you let go of your negative thoughts and embrace all of who you are, you are creating space for your authentic self to shine through. Positivity attracts Positivity. Negativity attracts Negativity. In every moment you can either choose love or fear. Love breeds positivity. Fear breeds negativity. When you criticise yourself and place judgements on yourself you are choosing fear. You are choosing to place limitations on yourself and labels that keep you small and stuck in a lack mentality. To truly start making a shift from fear-based thinking to love-based feeling, you need to change your internal dialogue, your actions and your environment to resonate on the same frequency of love and expansion. Fear is contraction and survival, love is expansion and abundance.

Negative ‘Fear-Based’ Thinking

I’m too fat, I’m not pretty enough, I’m too tired, I’m always sick I don’t have enough money Bad things always happen to me I’ve tried everything…What’s the point? It doesn’t matter what I say or do, nothing will ever change I’m too busy, I don’t have time I can’t change who I am   All of these statements are fear-based thinking, full of limitations and negativity. The more you repeat these words to yourself, the stronger your fear-based beliefs become. The mind does not know what is right or wrong- it only knows what is repeated again and again from the thoughts you constantly choose to tell yourself. The more you tell yourself those negative thoughts- the stronger those thoughts become. We learn fear-based thinking from a very young age. Self-Love requires you to ‘unlearn’ everything you’ve been telling yourself and to retrain your thoughts to come back to positive love-based thinking.  

Positive Love-Based Thinking

I choose to I am willing to I am open to I accept   Love-Based Thinking is expansive, accepting, allowing, opportunistic and willing to receive. This is what you were, when you were born. As you grew older, you took on everyone’s fears around you. Children are like sponges, they mirror the behaviours, beliefs, language and actions of their parents and peers around them. Every parent was also once a child, and they took on the fears of their parents and so forth. The cycle of negativity and fear-based thinking will only stop if you create that change for yourself. How do you unlearn everything you’ve been telling yourself your entire life? You need to practice changing your thoughts from fear to love. Choosing love over fear in every moment. The more you practice self-love, the stronger the connections become in your brain and your new way of thinking, feeling and acting becomes more positive, accepting, loving and supportive. Here are some self-love practices to start incorporating into your day. All you need to do is choose love over fear in every thought process and put time aside every day to build up your self-love.

Daily Self-Love Practices

  1. Stop judging yourself or criticizing yourself
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others
  3. Accept yourself as you are, right now and embrace all of you
  4. Be grateful for what you do have
  5. Reframe your thoughts. Negative thoughts create Negativity. Positive thoughts attract Positivity.
  6. Look for the silver lining in difficult situations
  7. Be true to yourself, your values and your integrity
  8. Stop blaming others and start being Responsible for your own life, your thoughts and actions.
  9. Forgive yourself and let go, being human means you are allowed to make mistakes.
  10. Stop taking life so seriously! Seek out pleasure, allow yourself to be silly and take time out to play.
  11. Put yourself first. Your needs, desires and dreams are only possible when they are prioritised. When you take care of yourself first, you are much stronger and capable of taking care of those you love. Self-Love requires you to put yourself first!
  12. Your body is sacred. Create an inner landscape that is gentle, kind, nurturing, loving, forgiving, allowing and respectful.
  13. You are what you Eat- Be mindful of the food you feed your soul, the thoughts that create your reality and the dreams and visions that bring you to your highest potential.
  14. Make Time for change to occur. Nothing will change, if you choose to stay the same. Same thinking, same habits, same thoughts, same daily action will create the same state that you have always been in. If you truly want change within yourself, you have to put aside time to be with yourself. Make time for you!